PDL: Death, Taxes, and Other Workplace Inconveniences
When an accountant's supernatural deaths become a workplace scheduling issue, she must navigate corporate bureaucracy, time paradoxes, and HR policies to revolutionize how her company handles employees who keep temporarily dying on the job.
Rebecca Love, a diligent accountant at Meridian Financial Services, finds herself caught between the mundane world of corporate bureaucracy and the extraordinary realm of superheroes when she keeps temporarily dying due to supernatural incidents. As her deaths become increasingly frequent and complex, Rebecca must work with her company's overwhelmed HR department to revolutionize how they handle Paid Death Leave (PDL). While juggling temporal displacement paperwork, quantum timesheet adjustments, and interdimensional meetings, she transforms from a death-inconvenienced employee into a pioneer of supernatural workplace policies. With help from her coffee buddy Mighty Man, a pragmatic office manager, and a somewhat obsessive HR director, Rebecca creates a new system that bridges the gap between ordinary office life and extraordinary cosmic events, proving that even death is just another workplace challenge that can be solved with proper documentation.
Chapter 1: PDL Request Form 3-B
Rebecca Love had died enough times that she'd developed a system. Her "In Case of Death" folder contained color-coded tabs for temporal displacement, atomic dispersal, and that one incident with the coffee machine that HR still wouldn't classify. She approached the counter where Trevor Matthews, Senior Benefits Coordinator and unofficial expert in supernatural workplace policies, was already pulling out the coral-colored PDL forms.
"Doctor Chronomancer again?" he asked, selecting the correct death certificate template.
"Tuesday at 2:15." Rebecca smoothed her blazer - the one with quantum-resistant threading. "Mighty Man caught him monologuing about temporal vortexes during their weekly archnemesis breakfast."
Trevor nodded, adding a note to Form 3-B. Paid Death Leave documentation had its own spectrum now, filed between maternity leave (blue) and interdimensional sabbatical (mauve). "Standard three-month temporal displacement?"
"Assuming linear time progression." Rebecca pulled up her calendar, where "DEAD" floated between client meetings and quarterly reviews. "I've already updated the project timeline and briefed Deepak on coverage. Plus, IT installed the new astral projection software for team meetings."
The office printer hummed to life, its "Supernatural-Safe" certification slightly scorched from last week's phoenix incident in Accounting. The updated death certificate now included checkboxes for "Temporary," "Presumably Permanent," and "Quantum Superposition (See Form 7-D for paradox provisions)."
Linda Park leaned over the cubicle wall, tablet in hand. "Rebecca ? The Q3 numbers- oh, sorry, is this a pre-death consultation?"
"Time vortex. But I'll be present in spirit for Thursday's budget review."
"Perfect." Linda made a note. "Dave finally exorcised those bugs from the spectral communication system. Should be ghost-touch compatible now."
Rebecca gathered her paperwork with practiced efficiency. The mundane and supernatural had long since blurred at Meridian Financial Services, where the employee handbook included sections on both dental coverage and dimensional displacement.
"Before I forget," she turned back to Trevor, who was already reaching for the resurrection pre-authorization stamps, "can we process the return paperwork now? Same quantum signature as March."
"Smart thinking." Trevor's voice carried the weariness of someone who'd processed too many posthumous expense reports. "Just remember to rematerialize in the designated zones this time. Facilities is still scrubbing interdimensional residue off the break room ceiling."
"I'll do my best, but you know how cosmic forces feel about OSHA regulations."
The office safety board caught her eye as she walked back to her desk: Days Since Last: Supernatural Incident: 0 Temporal Paradox: 2 Cosmic Crisis: 5 Proper Paperwork Filing: 0
At her desk, Rebecca updated her pre-death checklist: water the sentient office plant, set email auto-reply, file temporal displacement variance forms. Her computer background displayed a quote: "The only things certain in life are death, taxes, and the associated paperwork."
As she prepared for her scheduled departure from corporeal existence, Rebecca reflected on how routine the extraordinary had become. Five years ago, she'd been a regular accountant whose biggest crisis was missing decimal points. Now she managed quantum timesheet adjustments and helped draft protocols for posthumous project management.
The clock struck two, and Rebecca could feel the familiar temporal distortion beginning at the edges of her desk. She straightened her files, adjusted her "Out of Office (Due to Death)" nameplate, and opened her calendar to block off the next three months.
Just another Tuesday at Meridian Financial Services, where death was temporary but paperwork was forever.